Review - "Hot Head"

Hot Head Head #1
by Damon Suede
rating:☆☆
published: 15th June 2011
spoilers? a bit

Goodreads

Where to start.

Firstly, this book was basically a game of spot the stereotype. It opens up in a bar, where a stereotyped Latino is itching for a fight, and yelling homophobic slurs, while his stereotyped Latina girlfriend is holding him back (or hiding behind him, I didn't quite get that). Exactly what you want to start with, isn't it?

I continued reading anyway, because why not, and got to this lovely quote:

Here, Tommy liked getting half-raped on his knees.

I'll just leave that there...

Also then there's a description of eyes like gypsies, which, disregarding the WTF-ness of it for a brief moment, doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

There were a multitude of... interesting, to say the least, descriptions of cocks in this book. It got referred to as,

- a spike

- a medium rare steak (multiple times)

- an apple (I don't get this one at all)

- a battering ram (lovely)

- a tusk

- (my personal favourite) a piglet with a wet nose (this was actually said by one of the characters too)

Moving on to the sex itself, it's never a good sign when a) I'm wanting to skim read the scenes more than usual and b) I burst into laughter more than I would normally. Both of these things happened in this one. Lemme give you a rundown,

- Dante at one point was chewing Griff's arsehole. Now, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have thought that's a) particularly possible and b) that much of a turn-on (I mean, it sounds kind of painful). Each to their own I guess.

- Suddenly, Dante impaled himself on the stout invader. Sounds bloody painful if you ask me.

- ...roaring and nailing Dante to the sofa. O-k-a-y.

- You're so fucking responsive. Like a big horse. Because everyone wants to be compared to a horse by their significant other, really.

- ...hung like an ox. See above, but with an ox instead.

Another major gripe I had was this part,

"I could bang women, but I don't wanna." " Which makes us gay, Dante."

Actually, it doesn't. But y'know, let's just stick to the "traditional" narrative of heterosexual/homosexual and erase all other sexualities, why don't we.

There was also some stifling possessiveness, which at least was reciprocated this time. But it's still so boring. Like Dante didn't even like other men looking at Griff because he was "his". Chill, mate.

Finally, there's this really weird photoshoot scene at the end, like I don't even know what's going on at that point. Aren't they supposed to be firefighters, not nude models?

It also involves this lovely metaphor,

And so it went. Beth spent the last day like a happy spider, up on ladders, on her back under him, curled around light stands. It was as though she had spent two days learning his ingredients, and now she could cook with his entire huge, creamy body.

Basically, I quit.