by C. J. Skuse
rating:☆
published: 22nd September 2016
spoilers? YES
Goodreads
Galley provided by publisher
This book was so good. I know, I know, it's pretty strange to open the review with that, given that I've rated it 1 star, but the writing and the characters were great, and I ended up crying at the end. What made me dislike it was the plot.
1) The opening
The book starts with Max and Ella (Ella being the narrator, and Max her boyfriend) on a date, late at night, in a garden centre. Which, fair enough, is explained, and is probably romantic in the context of their relationship. Max is keen to have sex (in the garden centre...) with Ella, and Ella's like, OK, let's do it. Only Max doesn't have any condoms. And do they stop? No. No, they don't. Not until Ella panics and then they do, but the fact that Max, who has clearly been wanting sex, so you'd think would be prepared, has no condoms does not faze them.
And then, when they're getting dressed again, a packet of something falls out his pocket, and she picks it up like what's this, and he says it's condoms. So. He apparently had condoms but claimed not to? (Turns out it's weed because that's so much better. And besides, how can you mistake a packet of weed for anything but that, even if you're only holding it for a few seconds?)
2) The constant theme of someone (unqualified) telling someone else "x is OK"
First it's Pete, the running coach, telling Ella that she doesn't owe Max sex. Like, no offence, but it would be so much better if another girl/woman told Ella that? (Thankfully, Fallon does later on.) And then it's Ella (a straight girl) telling Zane that it's OK to be gay. Thanks for that.
Later, Ella also says she needs to stay because Zane is still hurting and he needs help. Kind of presumptuous of a straight person to think that she is the one qualified to help Zane in this situation. Especially when she was a large part of the reason for him hurting in the first place...
3) Incest
Because Ella doesn't want to have sex, Max, instead of sticking with her, trying to figure things out, being patient, etc etc, goes and has sex with his cousin. His cousin. I have nothing more to say.
4) Girl hating
This is like my biggest bugbear ever. Ella hates on Shelby, Max's cousin, because she finds out he's having sex with her. Why not hate on Max? In fact, she doesn't even blame Max for it. Shelby must have been seducing him, is her take on it, and partly she blames herself for not having sex with Max and thus forcing him to seek it out somewhere else. Can this gross idea stop?
Then she decides to get revenge on Shelby for that. Again, why not Max? He was as involved in it as Shelby, but no. The revenge must be on Shelby.
(As a side note, Shelby at the end during the trial was amazing, and it was nice to have Ella calling her brave, but she only did so once she knew the truth?)
5) Max's jealousy of Pete
This was never fully explained. Was it because Ella spends so much time with Pete? Because she's training with him? Was it because of the weed? (FYI, you can't get away with blaming everything on the weed, especially if it's pointed out that Max has never liked Pete.)
Then there's the part where Max, thinking Pete was the one to abuse Ella and his sister Jess, kidnaps Pete and tries to kill him. I don't know what to say.
(Also, there's a part where Ella kisses Pete. Was that necessary?)
6) The bully is gay
And guess what? He hates himself and is so ashamed of being gay that he bullies everyone and regularly beats up the one (living) person who knows. And because of this, Ella and co decide to get revenge on him, and torment him so badly that he ends up trying to kill himself!! Ella even comments that they broke him!! And she's proud of it!! Such great representation, thanks so much.
Not to mention the part where he has sex with a girl in an attempt to prove that he's not gay, and gets her pregnant. Boy, we have every trope in the book here.
At least he's happy and gets a boyfriend (who we don't see) at the end.
7) The big secret that is revealed...
...is that Ella was r*ped and abused by Max's dad. As was Max's sister Jess, and so she killed herself. Ella even had a miscarriage because let's put all the tropes in why don't we? Honestly, I'm really tired of the big reveal in books being that the MC was abused.
And she dies. Because abuse victims can't live happily ever after, oh no. In fact, they can't ever be happy again (Ella even mentions that she hasn't been happy since the r*pe). I would have given this book one whole more star if Ella had survived. Even if she'd been in a coma after the standoff with Max's dad.
Instead, the big plot twist is that she's narrating the book as a ghost, and the body that's found on the beach in the first chapter is hers.
Great.
8) The writing
The last point I'm going to make, is that sometimes the writing sounded a bit off. There were a few sentences that were a bit strange (skin soft as catmint, I feel dangerous), and then there was the fact that they use asshole instead of arsehole when they're supposed to be in England. And at one point, Max says what the cocking hell. I have never in my life heard someone say that. You can't say that!! It's like when James Rollins tried to turn an adjective sodding into a noun sodder. You just can't.
Anyway. It was a good book, but it just had so many issues for me I ended up not liking it.
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