by Allison Parr
rating:☆☆☆ 1/2
published: 8th April 2013
spoilers? yes
Goodreads
You only get hurt that badly when you're doing something that matters. Something impossible. Taking a risk. Investing yourself.
This book was frustrating to say the least. I definitely enjoyed it, perhaps enough that it might have merited a 4 star review, but there were aspects of it that I really didn't like.
The story starts with Rachael accidentally gatecrashing the party of NFL star, Ryan Carter, and almost immediately there were some teething problems. First, she's a little drunk, and yet he still starts trying it on with her, trying to hook up with her, and then, when she tells him she's not interested, his response is to claim she is "insane" for not wanting to. Good start. Not.
So Ryan comes off as a huge dickhead in the beginning (and I don't mean dickhead like you would normally expect in a New Adult book, I mean colossally monstrously enormous dickhead. He accuses her of wanting to hang out with his friends so she can seduce one of them for their money. Just because she knows nothing about football and wasn't watching the game properly. And he never apologises for this assumption). But he grew on me a little (though every now and then he'd show his dickheadedness anew and I would dislike him again).
I also hated the implication from Rachael that being a sports star means that you're not academically clever. I am so so so tired of this trope. First of all, being good academically isn't the be-all-and-end-all. You can have different sorts of intelligence - someone who is good at school isn't necessarily going to have the attributes that make them good at sports - so honestly, Rachael can go fuck herself with her self importance on that front.
There was a part in this book where Rachael called herself out on slut-shaming, which was good, but at the same time felt a little like she was doing it in a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek kind of way which is less good. But at the same time that there was no slut-shaming, there was Rachael sort of chewing herself out for being a "prude". Radical notion, I know, but maybe some people are more or less comfortable with sex, and you shouldn't judge based on how much they do or don't have it.
And now we get to the bit that I really hated. They end up having sex during some charity event that Rachael goes to as Ryan's date, but then afterwards, Rachael realises that it had been unprotected sex and starts panicking about how many people Ryan has had sex with, and what if she's picked up an STD from him, and what if she's pregnant? Two of these are logical worries to have, but instead of trying to calm her down, Ryan gets pissed off and says she's a freak, and just leaves her there. A healthy relationship, this is not.
To top it off, this isn't even the only time it happens. There's a second time, at Rachael's high school reunion, where Thomas (her high school crush) forces a kiss on her, before Ryan arrives and glares at him. He says he doesn't blame her for it, and then somehow they get into a conversation about money, and how Rachael won't accept him paying for shit for her (which I totally get. If there's a huge imbalance of power - or money - which there is in this case, given that he's an NFL star and she's in publishing, there's always going to be a conflict like that. It's just to be expected. See also: Gansey and Adam, and Ryan and Wes, to name a few). So they start yelling at each other and then end up (somehow) having angry sex. And then he storms off again. Told you it was healthy.
Anyway, after some moping around on Rachael's part, she decides they need to talk. Only Ryan's blocked her number and told the doorman where he lives to not let her up (very mature of him). So Rachael has to do this Big Gesture in order to get him back (because apparently she wants him back. Honestly, I don't see why). Long story short, it works, they talk, relationship problems solved (ha!).
I know it sounds like I really didn't like this book, but that's not so true. Yeah, I had some (pretty big) issues with it, but when Rachael and Ryan weren't doing this shit to each other, they were kinda cute. Besides, I'm a sucker for sports romances, so sue me.
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